I have come to the decision to end this 30-day-trial blog. I started it at a moment when I felt really down and needed to pick myself up. The purpose was to come back to surface by transforming myself. There were elements of my life that I knew deep inside that I wanted to change: the way I apprehend my own success, my relationships to money, food and alcohol. I thought that along the way, maybe some people could learn from my experiences.
Today, I am happy with what I have achieved, and I feel better emotionally and physically.
My general conclusion to personal development today is that trying to change a habit in your life or to grow is something that contains a strong element of figuring things on your own. Beliefs are often challenged, and I had to adapt my mind to handle the different challenges I have undertaken. Of course, there are support groups, counselors, psychologists and psychiatrists, but the support system around you cannot always be there, and it sometimes feels lonely to grow and change.
The questions that the visitors of my blog search the most on Google before they hit my site is : “how do you eat only when you’re hungry?” and my response is : “you just fucking do it.” You just force yourself until your mind has adapted to it. And that’s what I’m talking about : adapting is hard and feels lonely. Writing this blog made me feel a little less lonely in this process. When I failed, I tried again.
I have decided not to write about my last “secret” 🙂 trial, as I felt that it was so personal that it wouldn’t be relevant to other people.
Growing is not finished. I will not hide that this blog was therapeutic in many ways. I will carry on with the analyst I have been seeing in Paris for a while. With her, I have achieved a higher level of self understanding and progressing further will also take deeper work than 30-day trials.
Writing is not finished either. Two weeks ago, I completed the first draft of my novel… and decided to let it sit for 14 days, before I start editing it. Therefore, I will start that today. Also, because I was afraid that I would lose the habit of writing everyday, I also started the 1st draft of my second novel, which I like better that the first one. My new path is to try and live as a professional writer, and this growing experience requires different ways than doing 30 day trials. I want a blockbuster and before I achieve that, it may require that I write 10 books. And I may never achieve it. But right now, I find great satisfaction into writing every day and putting stories, characters, thoughts and feelings on paper (or on the screen, rather).
I encountered some successes in my experiments, and so the self-development was a success in itself. I also had more readers than I ever had. Of course, it’s nothing compared with the popularity of famous blogs, but considering that I invested very little time to write it, to market it, to improve it, I’m happy with the result. As of today, the site has been hit 8 500 times. I don’t know whether that’s good. But considering it’s just my own life I’m talking about, I’m pretty impressed.
I hope that some of the people out there who are thinking of giving up alcohol, of getting healthier will find some value in reading the thoughts and emotions I went through.
I have ideas for a new blog, so I hope I will find time to start a new one between my novel writing and editing moments 🙂 I’ll keep you posted anyway.