Paul McKenna “I can make you thin” Review – Day 11

This is my first attempt to follow the Paul McKenna “I can make you thin”‘ principles. This attempt didn’t succeed. I tried again in March 2009, and this time it worked. If you want to read the successful trial, click here.

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Today, I have made some improvements in my way of being. I have started to learn how to cope with the things that made me eat, but I also started to live the final overall “slim picture” that I want to live. It sounds complicated, so let me explain:

Dealing with boredom. Usually, boredom has led me to some endless internet browsing just to “pass the time”, and also to go to the kicthen in order to eat, stuff myself and accomplish the same purpose. Moreover, wasting my time without any purpose makes me stressed, so it increases my compulsion to go to the kitchen and stuff myself.

So reading Steve Pavlina’s post about “chess”, gave me an idea. I bought a couple of books: one is chess learning book, the other one is a puzzle and mental games book. I opened them when I was bored and they had a double positive effect: first, they kept my mind fully occupied, so I was not feeling bored. Second, they trained my mental agility, so I know this is not time lost. It’s like going to the gym for the brain! (=NOT waste of time)

It may sound trivial, but in 30 years, I hadn’t learned how to cope with boredom in a satisfactory manner. (better late than never)

Practicing my confidence with women. If you knew me personally, you would laugh at this post and not believe that I have confidence problems with women. Indeed, I usually don’t stay single for too long; numerous times, I have gone out of my way to make the first step and talk to a stranger (who end up being my girlfriend). For example, the person I was with right before I started this blog, I met her at a party and I seemed very daring with her; but the truth is, I felt daring because she went to talk to me first. I had noticed her, but was too scared to say anything to her. It is only because she made that leap of confidence first that I was able to feel “greenlighted” to go and talk to her. Other times in the past, I have gone and made the first step to talk to a woman, but I did it with a lot of fear in me. And if it didn’t have the results that I wanted, I felt morally crushed and depressed. That’s not confidence to me. Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s great to have your heart beat when you go and talk to someone for the first time… I don’t think you can be involved in the matters of love if you are too cold-blooded. On the other hand, I don’t think that being on the verge of depression everytime a woman I barely know is not interested in me, or feeling the fear to be rejected because I think I’m not good enough, are healthy behaviours of love.

Anyway, a long introduction to say: two days ago, I wrote that I envisioned a consequence of being healthy that I will be able to look at stunning women with confidence. So I thought to myself: “can’t I start doing that now?” I cannot control another person’s reaction, but I can control the way I feel when looking at her. I went to buy a newspaper, and the woman behind the counter was very pretty. Now, I’m not interested in her, nor do I want to date her, but my first feeling when I saw her was a feeling of fear that she wouldn’t find me attractive. Go figure.

I thought: let’s practice! I looked at her with a confident look, handed in the newspaper with a smile. She barely looked at me and handled the transaction hastily. In my mind I thought: “ok, she’s focused on her work; or she’s got a boyfriend and she’s not the type to look at other men; or I’m simply not her type and that’s ok; or she’s thinking about something else”. Anyway, she hands the newspapers back to me, to which I respond with a big smile and a big thank you, and leave the room.

Under the apparent dullness of the event, it’s rather revolutionary in my head: my first reaction was to fear this woman, fear that she wouldn’t find me attractive. Then I decided to go and be confident. My mind actually found its path to confidence while I was in front of her. I left the place feeling confident. Believe it or not, for me, that’s a big step! (I bet you she had no clue that all this was going on in my mind)

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Anyway, I also made a pledge to call some friends regarding some sport activities, which I haven’t started doing, but hey, one thing at a time!

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